“You should dress up like a girl”, she said for the nth time as I stood in my shorts and Tee, trying very hard not to roll my eyes.
“I AM a girl; I have long hair”, I concluded. Well that part was true,I did have long hair!
“Try looking like one sometimes”,she mocked,brandishing the eye-liner in her hand like a weapon of mass destruction.
“Come, lets try it on you”.
Uh-oh. Now this couldn’t be good.Let me be clear.I have nothing against eye-liners or nail paints(including the fact that several times I can’t tell them apart and consequences follow.) like this one time when I very confidently put a “different black lipstick”, only to find out that it was a kohl stick! Needless to say, I had to roam around with a slightly “different “ lip color for the next two days. Hence my experiences(I have had several) put me in a phobia of cosmetics. So “ lets try it on you” kind of kills. However unable to find a feasible way to run or the voice to protest, I sat down. After about an eternity of “dont shake”s and “stay still”s, I was left sitting there, waiting for the crap to dry. Now the thing with patience is that it lives a short life, especially in this story,and so when I opened my eyes, I looked straight out of a Ramsay horror film. No amount of rubbing takes that off your face, let me tell you. Only after I turned my face into the likes of a “dhobi ghaat” did I manage to look a little normal. And hence a resolution was derived: STAY AWAY FROM THE MUCK.
Having had that experience, anyone would have killed the make up artist or tossed. But I thought “what the hell”, n hence the next part. Now let me enlighten the less informed of you about short dresses:
1) 1)They make you look good(depending still)
2) 2) If you stand under a fan, you become a living replica of Marlyn Monroe(not the good parts)
3) 3) Don’t even think about jumping
4) 4) You have no option but to be at your “lady-like” best!
So when on a very unfortunate day I wore something of the kind, 2),3) & 4) happened. About 1), I cant say nothing. Well I tried, but its difficult to be ladylike, and hence very conveniently and less than 8 hours later, I was back to my shorts clad jumping stairs self. As far as “looking like a girl” is concerned, well, I DO have long hair!!
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Photography: Ankita Bhardwaj